


By The Darker Path

by Nightsidesamurai



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 11:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5706352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightsidesamurai/pseuds/Nightsidesamurai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at a young Ben Solo and the beginning of his descent into darkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By The Darker Path

Ben could feel the distinct thrumming of the Falcon's hyper-drive change pitch and he knew that in seconds they would all be dropping out of hyperspace into yet another garbage heap of a system where nobody listened to him and nothing interesting happened. He knew that his parents were important, they were heroes after all and he had been born during a time when they were needed, as heroes, more than they were needed as parents.

He wasn't neglected exactly but he was a potted plant sitting next to hundred year old trees, he felt dwarfed by the massive personalities he had surrounding him. He'd heard all the stories, about the first Death Star and how his father had saved the day at the last minute. He could remember wondering how exactly they had escaped from the trash compactor and the monster inside of it. Ben couldn't help but feel like he probably wouldn't have liked his namesake, only someone stupid would allow themselves to be struck down in the middle of a fight.

Sometimes he wished that he had been named Anakin instead, his grandfather was his real hero, one he hoped to live up to one day. Anakin had been the most powerful Jedi ever and as if that wasn't enough he had then become the most feared Sith Lord in the galaxy. His black mask had struck fear into the hearts of the weak and pitiful. People paid attention to Darth Vader, nobody could have forced him to stay in a boring old ship watched over by droids and nannies that spoke to him like a child.

Ben pushed himself up from his bunk and stared out the small porthole at the lush green moon orbiting a gas giant. “Could it be that we didn't go somewhere stupid this time?” He couldn't have mistaken this place for any other, it could only be Yavin IV. This was the place where the first Death Star was destroyed, where his father had returned to rescue his uncle Luke, and where their destiny was put into motion. Ben had read as much as he could about the place, the ancient temples and the sweltering jungles filled with dangerous animals had always intrigued him.

There was no reason for them to be here though, their itinerary was clear and they weren't supposed to be in this part of space for several months at least. Why hadn't his parents told him there was a change? This was just like them, ignoring what he needed for whatever mission or cause required them to speed away and leave him behind. But this was Yavin and Ben would not just casually accept being left behind here.

His parents were already in the cramped cockpit with Chewbacca, their heads held close together in quiet discussion, when Ben stomped in and forced himself into the conversation. “Why are we here? You're not leaving me behind!” He could hear his own voice squeaking through his lips and he cringed internally. He didn't sound like someone they should take seriously, he sounded like a whiny child.

Han and Leia seemed completed shocked by his sudden interruption and the scowl forming on Han's face was a familiar one. “Ben! What have I told you about interrupting like that? We're having a private conversation. Wait in the sitting area, now!” Han couldn't keep the edge out of his voice as he commanded the boy to leave the cockpit. He loved his son but every day it became harder and harder to deal with his outbursts and temper tantrums. He was a 12 year old boy and should have known better but Han and Leia couldn't seem to instill in him some restraint. It's why they had come to Yavin in the first place.

Leia had spoken to Luke several weeks earlier, explaining the difficulties they were having and hoping that the Jedi Knight would have some insight. Luke thought that perhaps they might all enjoy some time away from the resistance and Luke would have a chance to get to know his young nephew better. It was possible that, like his mother and uncle, he had some sensitivity to The Force and learning to understand and control ones emotions was key to any sort of Force mastery.

Ben, angrily stomping to the circular bench where his father had sent him, could sense the roiling waves of emotion crashing over him. He hadn't told his parents that he had begun to explore his connection to the Force. They never gave him time to speak before and he had no reason to believe that they would hear him now. So he had spent as much time as possible reading through books and reviewing holotapes all about the subject.

He had been especially fascinated with the records of his grandfather and the many powers the Force had granted him. Ben couldn't do much yet, he couldn't focus very well and focus was very important for these sorts of endeavors, but he didn't need to do much to feel the emotions of those around him. In fact, he couldn't really stop himself from feeling these things even when he didn't want to. It was a constant hum of anger and sadness and hatred all crowing in on his young mind. Sometimes he got headaches and sometimes he could not sleep for fear that the dreams of other places would drown him as he tried to get rest.

Leia gave Han a withering look as Ben left, “You didn't have to yell at him. He's growing up and it's not easy for him. He needs comfort Han”. She understood why Han was so hard on the boy, he had had a difficult childhood with no one to keep him on track and he had ended up in a lot of trouble before he had tried to settle down with Leia. Even now she could see that the limits of family life were chafing on his free spirit and more often than not, their awkward son ended up feeling the brunt of his irritation. 

It wasn't that Han didn't care or love the boy, she knew that deep inside he wanted only the best for him. But deep inside is not where one needs to show love for a child, they couldn't see it unless it was right in front of them. And with his anger growing inside him, getting darker and harder to ignore each day, Leia worried that Han being so hard on him would be what drove him away when the boy got the chance. Even with her limited Force abilities, Leia could feel that something was building inside her son and she needed to do something.

She had been beside herself with desperation after the last time he had blown up at them. At his age it was expected that he would lash out at them, he was exploring his boundaries after all, but Leia was afraid that it would go too far. That he would succumb to the anger and loneliness inside him and he would fall to a place where she could not help him. She had told her brother everything and he had suggested that they meet on Yavin IV so that they could spend time together as a family and perhaps Luke could help them out. He had said that he missed seeing them and that he needed a break from his own work training the younglings that might become Jedi when they were older.

Now that they had landed they were planning to surprise Ben with the unexpected trip but once again his temper and Han's scolding had led to another unpleasant beginning to another day. “I'm sorry but I'm not asking for much. Some manners, some respect, I love him but sometimes I feel like he hates me”. Han didn't often reveal such vulnerability and Leia pulled the man she loved into a tight hug. “He doesn't hate you, Ben just doesn't understand you. You're his hero but he isn't a part of your world, you don't even let him in the cockpit of the Falcon. How he must feel that you don't include him in something so important to you?” Leia watched Han's face as he worked through it all, and finally came to a decision.

“You're right, he must feel left out. When we leave I'll bring him up to the front with me and I'll show him some of the controls. Maybe it'll give us a chance to talk more. I mean, he's my son, he's got to be a good pilot”. Han grinned that infectious grin that had first won Leia's heart and he kissed her cheek, “Let's get going. Luke is probably waiting for us”. They collected the sullen and silent Ben from the sitting area and soon they were walking along a stone path winding through the lush jungle. Han felt hopeful that this would be the beginning of something good for their little family.


End file.
